Thursday, July 7, 2011

Beyond 2000

When I was little we watched programmes like The Jetsons and Beyond 2000 on the telly.
The year 2000 was a far-off point in the distant future that beheld many many wondrous technologies, like hover-crafts and robotic servants and lots of machiney stuff that I didn't fully comprehend because they were so advanced and futuristic.  
Oh, the future was so bright!  I couldn't wait to start teleporting and wearing silver catsuits and flying around in cars.   I wasn't so into the idea of having a barcode on my head, or eating all my meals in tablet-form, but hey, that's the price you pay for progress.

Now that we are, against all odds, actually beyond 2000, it's quite strange to look back at those shows.  There's not a day that goes by where I don't wish I could teleport to bed.  And where are the flying cars?   Huh?  Why do I not have a machine that washes my dishes for me???   
But many of the ridiculous inventions have come true.  Like the little plastic cards that you use instead of money.  And miniature telephones that you can carry around in your pocket.  And little computers that live inside the phones that you carry around in your pocket.

And the robot servants.  Man, those things are everywhere.
Except rather than being servantile, they're actually TAKING OVER THE WORLD.
Sci-fi movies have been warning us about this for years.  But now it's happening, and instead of fighting back, we're helping them lead us to a slow and painful death!

They are not achieving world-domination by the expected methods, like becoming huge and scary and stomping on people like ants.   No, they are much cleverer than that.
Instead, they are simply making us expendable.  They are replacing us, one at a time, slowly but surely...

Think about it.  Soon we will be able to conduct our entire lives without ever coming into contact with a person.  We can bank online, check-in online, talk to our friends online, order our organic vege boxes online...we can even travel overseas without talking to customs officers now!  (Though to be honest, those poker-faced customs people were always a little machine-like).

And we can go to a self-checkout at the supermarket, and check-out our own groceries, thank you very much.  Because heaven forbid, we should have to talk to another HUMAN BEING while we are purchasing food.

Soon there will be no jobs left for people because the machines will have TAKEN OVER THE WORLD!

ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

(They never told us to expect this on Beyond 2000.  I'm beginning to think the whole thing was a jip.)   

1 comment:

Doctor Cheval said...

I also worry about robots taking over the world. That is why I say thank you to machines. Thus they will treat me kindly when they do.